July 10, 2003 (#33), (and before ...)

Sweet oatmeal scrubs,

It's all about taking care of the body in these lean times. I'm reducing my intake of carbohydrates and increasing my intake of protein to build fat burning muscle... yes, I have someone watching over my body now. Very odd. Very attractive too. And he really has my best interests at heart, unfortunately. And most unfortunately he is completely uninterested in the baser aspects of my personality in that completely comfortable and accepting way to which the modern man has evolved. Modern man with a girlfriend.

I don't even make him nervous... am I that normal now?

Have we all become passé? Anything but that. I'm all for Supreme Court decisions and new laws, but I yearn for a bit of that freak show feeling adrenalin pump I used to get when I was a bit more of the exotic when in public. Now I turn to exercise.

Sigh. Next thing you know I'll be turning in pumps for flats and wearing button earrings.

Don't worry my shea butter balms, I'm only joking. Much like Barbie, my calves won't stretch enough for flats; I'm perpetually prancing.

Today Mr. Body and Soul told me that he informed his girlfriend (who he has been dating for a 2 months, but has known 10 years) that she is the one and that he intends to marry her. I almost started crying. A proposal to propose. Tears of joy, my egg white masques, no jealousy here.

Now, truth be told, I'm not much of the marrying kind. I prefer cohabitation. Abattoir and I have been together so long I can't imagine life without the Flemish language in my life. But marriage? Ceremony? Granted, I've always wanted a champagne fountain, but all that ritual and pandering to traditions to which I don't really resonate. Well, I can't see me in white anytime soon.

Yet I'm reminded of so many touching proposal scenes in so many movie and tv shows. Catching her unaware, popping out the ring, bended knee, please marry me... very emotional. And I love drama. But all of a sudden it occurred to me that perhaps more than the ceremony, more than the cake, it was about that nervous moment where one person turns to the other and says out loud "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, please let me" (whether it actually happens or not, isn't really a discussion topic at that point).

Originally a marriage ceremony was simply putting two people in front of their community and with that society as a witness and sometime aribter, they were binding themselves together. Now, we rent apartments, buy houses, take out insurance policies and go on trips together, but those marks of the realtionship are mundane, although sometimes difficult decisions that come up as matter of course.

However, to set up your moment, to buy something to mark it, to get down on your knee and look into his or her eyes (as they stare back wondering what you're on) and utter words ever more difficult than "30 years at 4 percent"... and then wait for .... somehting in their eyes before they speak... maybe that truly is what modern marriage is about.

Well, can you tell that I'm listening to Mark Weigle's music right now... really, I had better switch to Doris Day soon or I'm going to have to whisk Abattoir off to an island... and his skin is so sensitive.

Marry me,
Trudy