Today

Thank god the New York Times is on the Web! Now I don't have to sit here and listen that cloud of hairspray and llame go on and on. She never knew I read the Times in New York either. I would sit next to the recycling pile and pretend I had to go out, when actually I was reading the paper. But these last few months in the trailer, I haven't had anything - just her blathering (and she thinks I slobber). But now they've made it to the Web. Of course she thinks it's a little odd that I stare into the screen while she's working away in the kitchenette... but who's she to say what's odd, Jesus ...

And what's the story of the week? This big communications bill. Only the Republicans could take most of the restrictions off of the largest corporations in the country, but meanwhile - in the same bill - put the most ludicrous, unconstitutional restrictions on individual expression. And only Bill Clinton would sign it. Must be the bad haircut.

I suppose most humans feel much more threatened by the mention of a penis or vagina (or better yet copulation!) than they do Rupert Murdoch controlling all of the newspapers, radio stations, television stations, cable companies, phone lines and even Internet access in their communities. It's the erosion of those family values that plagues our country, not the fact that General Electric, Capital Cities and Bechtel (not to mention Ralston Purina) are slowly blurring with Microsoft, Disney and Time Warner to present one-stop entertainment like the Iraqi War. Hell they can elect the politicians, build the bombs, mobilize the troops, script the event, and then broadcast it on their networks, and merchandise it, too! Efficiency is thy middle name.

Flesh and free thought scare the humans in the United States much more than blood and power. It all makes me hungry.

Dogs have it so much easier. We don't own things, we just piss on them. We don't control each other, we just sniff each others' butts. Think of the human lives that would've been saved if the politicians and businessmen spent more time sniffing each other's butts and pissing then wasting it with their busy work.

Ahhh, but Trudy's rattling my bowl which means it's food time... which means later I'll have to go out which reminds me ....

Bowel Report
Smooth sailing, mon capitaine!