Today

Not to step on anyone's toes here but "If it smells like shit and looks like shit, it is shit!" But Trudy's species just never seem to learn that lesson.

Trudy,the Belgian and I went to Provincetown. She kept me going back and forth in the dunes and up and down Commercial Street all night long. Finally when I gave her a look and committed the atrocity, she stopped. A few minutes later, after doing her civic duty, we stopped by the trash can and then saw the Human Rights Campaign store. Human Rights Campaign, sounds like a group out to save Central American Refugees. Turns out that it's some lesbian and gay lobbying group based in Washington D.C. So we check out their boutique, (Dogs allowed so I am pre-disposed to like them) which had some swank clothes, and a nice computer hooked up to the Internet. Trudy, thinking she was avoiding computers, chose to pick up their glossy newsletters. Very nice indeed. Trudy really liked how they looked - especially when she saw that her friends at Out Magazine produced the thing. But after she was done cooing at it at home, I actually read it. God, what a crock. Now, I'm no human, but imagine this group supporting Republican candidates. Looney, a lesbian and gay group supporting Republicans - and I mean giving them money. I choked on my Science Diet.

So their Winter 1996 newsletter starts out with this glowing endorsement of Clinton as a "clear choice" for president - the newsletter's editor, a human named David Smith, has an article called "Fairness Is Non-Partisan" pooh-poohing Barney Frank for giving HRC shit because they gave money - lesbian and gay money that is - to the Republican National Campaign Committee. Smith chortles on to say that we must "put lesbian and gay politics ahead of partisan politics," and the newsletter goes on to single out Republican candidates they are giving money to for their election campaigns.

Now if you were me, you would have digestive troubles too.

Now I know a lot about shit, and this started smelling familiar. So I hear that in a California district where there is a gay Democrat running against a "friendly" Republican, the HRC is endorsing the Republican as well as the Democrat. Now this is really starting to look familiar and your stomach ought to be on full boil or you are no pure breed.

But then later when Trudy is cleaning up the floor with the New York Times, I see where the House of Representatives has voted over-whelmingly for the Marriage Decency Act - and every Republican except for one (the gay one!), voted for it. Well, duh, it is shit.

Now I'd be happy to just go on napping if it was just the self-hating morons in the Log Cabin Republicans - you know the ones who give awards to Al D'Amato. No, this is the largest, most endowed (and I don't mean that poser Great Dane Trudy and I saw outside of Spiritus Pizza) lesbian and gay organization in the world!

(Don't let me get going on that Log Cabin thing. I just don't have the teeth of my youth and I am saving them up.)

Telling lesbians and gays that "Fairness Is Non-Partisan" and that they should put their hard-earned money behind Republicans: I got news for you poor fools, you're being hosed. Maybe it takes my dog's perspective, but these people could give a shit about you (just like your President - who thinks this Marriage Decency Act is "gay-baiting" but still "has to" sign it because of his "personal views" on the matter).

What's the last bill you saw coming out of Washington and all of its schmoozy, high-finance lobbying that said anything to lesbians and gays besides, "Well, OK, if you'll pretend not to exist, I'll throw you this bone."

Speaking of bones, I'm hungry...and I am getting much too wigged about things I could give a shit about, also speaking of which ...

Bowel Report
Bad news and good news. On again off again report. As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours, and it has been pouring mixed with incredible and unbelievable dry spells. I like to keep Trudy on her toes, uh, heels.