Verlene thoughts April 1, 1996 (and more)

This was a tough week for the old Verlene. I am going to send you a list of things to keep in mind that I have learned recently. Verlene's wisdom! Some of these topics are just tiny little axes that I am grinding, you can ignore me:

• If the government shuts down, leave the country.

• If you have a long weekend with nothing planned, leave the country.

• Carefully think about any vacation that includes your mother, no matter how sweet she is!

• Tell you guests what to bring when you invite them over to a pot luck, otherwise everyone will end up bringing bread!

• Oscar Night parties will not end before midnight!

• If you have a party that turns into a big drunken, disorderly drug fest, do not be angry if someone actually calls it a "big drunken, disorderly drug fest."

• The truth can hurt.

• If your favorite TV show has a building explode, or a shoot- out in Moldavia that ALL major cast members survive, find a new show to watch.

• Never lend money to anyone with a substance abuse problem!

• If there are possible felony charges pending against you in other states (or the District of Columbia), remove yourself from the "A" List, immediately!

• Have good friends, and make the effort to stay in touch with them!

• Remember, not everyone is as perfect we think we are, including us!

• Some strange people can look quite pretty in a nice dress.

• Volunteer your time. You will be appreciated.

• Waffle House does offer a good benefit plan.

• Do not dump an entire astray full of your nasty cigarette butts out of the window as I may be following you and might show you a choice digit from my hand!

• There is no such thing as matching gold lame'. If you go to brunch in a gold lame' coat, shoes, pocket book and hair scrunchie, someone will laugh at you.Esp. if you have silver hair!

• Try a Campri and Orange! A delicious and refreshing change!