Fall thoughts September 16, 1996 (and more)
From Verlene's dance card -
She says, "Verlene gets a few cocktails in La Paz"*
Hey! It is time for a quarterly update of "Verlene's thoughts". These are the things that Verlene has learned over the past couple of months. I would like to thank my friends, and hurricane Fran, for supplying me with some of these insights:
Love from the south!
- If you are drunk and fall out of your car in-front of your neighbors! Pick your self up, ignore the blood, and walk into the house.
- Please pay before you pump!
- If you can, take 3 months off and explore the South Pacific.
- If you do not know the words to the song, do not get dressed up and try and lip-sync it!
- If someone invites you to a fantastic villa in the islands, and you break a chair, in a fight with your boyfriend, fess up immediately and pay the piper!
- If you are 18 years old and a very much older couple invites you over for drinks! Beware!
- Calling your mass of pig crap, in your back yard, a "Hog Lagoon" does not make it any more attractive. A naked Chris Atkins is not going to be romping out there!
- If friends slip you "All-Purpose" flour, as a party favor! Get mad, and get even! My god, have they never heard of yeast infections?
- Make friends who can help you out (of jail)!
- If you still cannot act, after 4 seasons, leave the show and have everyone say that you decided to go to Paris.
- If you have cute friends, SHARE! INTRODUCE!
- Coffee made on a grill is not any good.
- Electricity is very UNDER rated.
- If you go to a party and spend most of the party in the bathroom with 4 or 5 other people, you are in trouble. Or in denial!
- JOCKO shirts are not for everyone. White tank tops seem to be, but, again, are not.
- Do not mention that your cable went out, around people who were without power for 9+ days.
- Call people when you tell them that you are going to call them.
- Remember people's names when they introduce you!
- Do not call your dinner hosts, 10 minutes AFTER you are supposed to be at dinner, to cancel.
- Ordering white wine at a fish camp is not cool!
- If you get invited to an art opening. Do not assume that you can walk though the worse part of town to get there!
- How can my marriage, as weird as it is, be a threat to your marriage?
- Send your friends, bottles of Champagne. They love it!
- Stop and look at the bull-dozer drivers! Yumm.
- French Canadian boys are interesting. They will keep you guessing!
- You can find love at Starbucks.
Write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will try to reply but I do work you know!
*Perhaps I'll just have a mojito, hold the plaxtic cup, dear.