Fall thoughts September 16, 1996 (and more)

From Verlene's dance card -
She says, "Verlene gets a few cocktails in La Paz"*

Hey! It is time for a quarterly update of "Verlene's thoughts". These are the things that Verlene has learned over the past couple of months. I would like to thank my friends, and hurricane Fran, for supplying me with some of these insights:

• If you are drunk and fall out of your car in-front of your neighbors! Pick your self up, ignore the blood, and walk into the house.

• Please pay before you pump!

• If you can, take 3 months off and explore the South Pacific.

• If you do not know the words to the song, do not get dressed up and try and lip-sync it!

• If someone invites you to a fantastic villa in the islands, and you break a chair, in a fight with your boyfriend, fess up immediately and pay the piper!

• If you are 18 years old and a very much older couple invites you over for drinks! Beware!

• Calling your mass of pig crap, in your back yard, a "Hog Lagoon" does not make it any more attractive. A naked Chris Atkins is not going to be romping out there!

• If friends slip you "All-Purpose" flour, as a party favor! Get mad, and get even! My god, have they never heard of yeast infections?

• Make friends who can help you out (of jail)!

• If you still cannot act, after 4 seasons, leave the show and have everyone say that you decided to go to Paris.

• If you have cute friends, SHARE! INTRODUCE!

• Coffee made on a grill is not any good.

• Electricity is very UNDER rated.

• If you go to a party and spend most of the party in the bathroom with 4 or 5 other people, you are in trouble. Or in denial!

• JOCKO shirts are not for everyone. White tank tops seem to be, but, again, are not.

• Do not mention that your cable went out, around people who were without power for 9+ days.

• Call people when you tell them that you are going to call them.

• Remember people's names when they introduce you!

• Do not call your dinner hosts, 10 minutes AFTER you are supposed to be at dinner, to cancel.

• Ordering white wine at a fish camp is not cool!

• If you get invited to an art opening. Do not assume that you can walk though the worse part of town to get there!

• How can my marriage, as weird as it is, be a threat to your marriage?

• Send your friends, bottles of Champagne. They love it!

• Stop and look at the bull-dozer drivers! Yumm.

• French Canadian boys are interesting. They will keep you guessing!

• You can find love at Starbucks.

V

Write to me at verlene@datalounge.com. I will try to reply but I do work you know!

*Perhaps I'll just have a mojito, hold the plaxtic cup, dear.