help, I've fallen into AOL and I can't get out! September 30, 1996 (and more)

From Verlene's U.K. dance card -
She says, "Crazy Brits! That's not the Macarena"

Forgive me children, for I have sinned.

Well, maybe not, but I came mighty close! It was an addiction that overtook me, like nothing that I have ever seen. Girls stay away from...because it is evil, I tell you evil...America On-Line! This was far worse than my little period with Dion and the Psychic hotlines!

OK, so you want the story. Well, let me turn down the blender so I can think. Verl got a new laptop (hey, at least I have one now, my real lap top disappeared sometime between college and my last experience with Ben and Jerry's). Anyway! This laptop came with 50 free hours of AOL.

I have heard of these little things called "chat rooms" but OH MY GOSH...I had no idea that all of this naughtiness was going on, right under my powdered nose! I am not going to tell you all the details but let me tell you, I stayed at home on Saturday night!

Now, you know what an act of god it takes for me not to get in the pinto and head down to the cha-cha palace on a Saturday!

I would like to thank Brianna and Karla for trying to call me at 11:30 on Sunday night but, as I graciously explained to them, two boys, were both talking to me (on line)! That would be...hmmm... two more than would be talking to me at the bar at that exact moment! The odds were not in favor of me going out. (Thanks CuteRal and FlyGuy for a fun and safe time! And all of this without getting showered and made up!)

I think the funniest part was when I (in complete stealth mode) snuck onto Rhonda's screen and promised all sorts of things that left her blushing though her profile. Of course, Rhonda stayed at home too. Ya see, (and you did not hear this from me) but she and I went to a little going away party for everyone's favorite verb, Neil. Little Nell is going to San Fran, so Rhonda decided to celebrate this with Cuba Libre's. Well child! I took her home after she started doing her famous Kate Hepburn-telling-Spencer-to-leave-Rock Hudson-alone imitation. Funny! Or maybe it was my Campari and Oranges. Bye Neil! Write and send CARE packages!

Sunday, I got up, with cramped hands (do you have to ask?) and a hunger the size of Somalia. I realized that I had not eaten yesterday (I swear that 12 or 13 hours just FLY by while on-line) so called T.J Actress and had a massive "Humble Pie" brunch (sans Mimosas). The thought of going back on-line was tempting but, remembering my role model, Nancy, I JUST SAID NO! (Plus, I only have about 8 free hours left).


Well realizing that if I needed to do something good on the day of our lord, I went from one eleemosynary meeting to another. ("Sure, I'll be on your Board, now pass me another cocktail?")

I also got to go to the gala event for "Sally's House". Sally Zoom Zoom (Marcia's mom) was heavily involved with P-FLAG here in the Triangle and her memory is being honored by the creation of a house for the community. While attendance was low, Marcia looked great, if not a little reserved. The T.Js (actress) and (flight attendant) were my dates. I behaved, wishing that someone would massage my cramped hands.

Well it is Monday, and I am NOT going to watch Melrose. I seem to have too many addictions now and need to cut back. OK, I will tape it and decide later. Hey I can't go cold turkey on something this major.

Oh, Miss Rhonda better shape up! Watusi is moving in! And (to add confusion to the world), the T.Js might be moving in together! Thank God I'm blond (according to page 2, passport).

Well, gotta run! I work you know! You can write me at or check out our little Trailerpark News page at! (Thank her when you are there!). Remember we are all her "neighbors", even though she has moved to the Cyburbs!


You are too, too, too, too, too divine (Carmen Miranda)

Valujet Verlene!

*And I say "A SALE?!". Also, I swear I'm going to have to save our child from herself even if it means tying her dainty hands (che gelide manine?) to her canopy bedposts. Where's my train schedule?