Verl in a Sling (Not what you are thinking) June 2, 1997 (and more)

Selamat Detang!

Trailer Gals, I'm back from Asia.

It was possibly one of the worse trips that one could imagine. The travel agency insisted on booking me, one row in front of Smoking, in the Screaming-Children section. God, bless my me for my barren state. Where were my upgrade coupons? Where was Rolohantas with those special fares? Maybe the Tamazepan will help?

After 36 hours of travel, I decided to get off of the plane and head immediately to a bar for a drink. What would be the correct cocktail? Well I was in Singapore, so a Singapore Sling seems apropos. Sitting at the long bar at Raffles, I thought back to the old colonial days with pretty ladies in pith helmets and muslim hair nets!

So there I was, sitting exactly twelve hours ahead of most of you, precisely half way around the world wondering what I should do after my upcoming birthday. Gently stirring my drink(s) I wondered if I could indeed pick up my trailer and move everything (except the cats) to a country where caning is still practiced (certain clubs in NYC with very hefty cover charges do not count, Verlene has heard).

Realizing that I should make the most of this trip I got/fell off the bar stool, and went upstairs to get 18 to 20 hours of sleep. Waking up with a slight overhang, I slipped on a comfortable all cotton sarong and hit the streets of the cleanest, most efficient Asian city.

I was doing just fine, battling my sudden unbeknownst-till-now urge to use chewing gum and read Cosmopolitan, when I passed a quaint little shop advertising "Massage and Saunas". I thought that I could take off my beehive and relax for a moment but was a little skeptical. I specifically ensured that I was paying for a "legitimate" massage. "Oh Yes, Oh Yes, I give you Keiko".

Entering the little room I should have been suspicious when Keiko entered in a little floral dress, high heeled strapless shoes and lovely red toenails. Still believing that I was going to relieve some of the jet lag, Verlene got undressed and started into the massage, quickly falling asleep.

I woke up some time later to find Keiko gently touching parts of yours Verly that have not been touched by female hands in...well...I am sure that someone changed my diapers as a child. "Time for saysey massage...saysey massage..." OH no! No sexy massage for me! In a country where they censor Newsweek and get fined for not flushing the toilet, you can still find a cheap brothel. Verlene left in quite a hurry, my virtue intact!

That bipolar nature is basically my opinion of Singapore. Old and new, cheap and expensive, prudish and slutty: basically very similar to Ms. Verlene Long-Labois! Could I live there? Maybe? More soon...another year. This one could be very different!

Jackie, I am sorry that we keep missing each other. Try consoling your self with the http://www.ginov.com site!

I really do love you all. Really! Anyone need two cats?

Visibly Vexed Verlene.