Verl settles in! October 6, 1997 (and more)

Hello landlubbers!

Do not worry! My nautical existence is only temporary, but I thought that I should take a moment to write you all! Do you see how often I think of you!

Well where am I? Good darn question. Believe it or not I am on a Chinese Junk (Jonque) in the Andaman sea. Look it up sweeties, it is off the coast of Thailand, just south of Rangoon...(I have ALWAYS wanted to give someone my coordinates in reference to "Rangoon", there I feel better!)

Anyway. I was touring Thailand, getting into all sorts of trouble in Phuket and Bangkok and the lovely little owner of the "Rendez-vous" (I wish!) hotel asked me what I would like for my breakfast. I muttered something about "Coffee, and a man!" and suddenly I was boarding this lovely Chinese Junk going to the "And.a.Man" sea! Be careful what you ask for. The worse part is that I am on a all-German tour, and I do not speak any language that threatens to projectile spit into my `kerchiefs!

So now, I am finishing a lovely day exploring the "Phrang Na" bay. Just beautiful and mystic and quite stunning. Some of you may remember this bay from the James Bond movie "Man with a Golden Gun".this is way before my time! I think that is what the tour guide said, but then again, I did totally misunderstand the part about not swimming because of the crocodiles. That could have been quite hazardous!

Anyway, we have been cruising, eating and relaxing and it really has been a wonderful day! It was funny, when we got on board, all of the "real men" immediately went for the bow (some penile compensation thing) and scoured the maps to see "vhere ve are goink". I sat on the back deck of the Junk, sipping my coffee and perusing the petit fours! After we took off, there was a brief squall and German-bitch-with-home-perm tried to insinuate that I should come over to their side of the boat to stop the little Junk from leaning. She had obviously never sailed before! It was OK because Matching-couple-in-tacky-shirts explained to her that the weather would soon pass. As if I was the cause of the entire Junk leaning to one side. Bitch.

Well, let me fill you in on the details of my move. I finally have an place to call my own. It was a fervent move! Several layers of government paperwork left me exhausted but with a groovy pad and parking for the silver bullet.

It's not the prettiest of places (yet) but I am sure that I can make it mine soon. I felt right at home when I realized that my lovely Chinese landlady had gone out and furnished the place with tons of plastic flowers ("you single, no worry water"). I did not have the heart to tell her that the orange flowers in the bathroom did not match the brown tiles, beige walls, maroon sink/toilet, blue bath mat and red shower fixtures...OK I have a lot of work to do!

She did insist on leaving me dinner ("you single, roast chicken and lice, no worry eat out") but when I opened the box with the chicken, I found a FULL complete chicken! From it's little beak to the part that my grandmother called graciously "the part that goes over the fence last!" The little bird had it's little eyes roasted shut and it' little feet (feet, not just legs) tucked up underneath it. The chicken looked quite asleep, in a post nuclear explosion way, and I just could not bring myself to cut it up!

I tittered and went out to get chicken that did not look like chicken! My western upbringing winning out once again!

Other than the garish decor, I had quite a problem figuring out how everything worked. The person before me was Japanese, and he left all of the cleaning supplies (in Japanese). The person before him was German and had bought all of the appliances from Germany. It took me 4 hours to find the washing machine (it looks like a large microwave, with a porthole) and to figure out how to load and use it. I threw in my clothes and either some detergent or a lovely smelling lemon-duck sauce and washed my clothes.

I feel like I am settling in!

No real news from the trailerpark at home. T.J. Actress is going to reprise her role as the semi-nude star in L!V!C! in Raleigh. I understand that it is trick or treat season in the U.S. and I know that Ms. T.J. seems to have difficulty choosing.

A new sister, Sister Juci, has managed to smuggle me several very explicit escapades from home. You do not know what a blessing it is to hear the naughtiest of tales, while "Living in SIN" (what an oxy-moron!). Jaqui is moving out of SFO to the burbs and Ms. Alana, well lets just say that I can't (won't and can't are very different) say! Little Princess Rhonda is out a prowling for ideas for next years CMF. And dear Randi (smiley face over the "i") seems to be finally free of that albatross around his neck!

Trudence has been wonderful and my girls in Nash Vegas and Bowling Green...Lord say a prayer for them. Apparently winter must have started and it has begun to snow quiet heavily and that path gets very slippery! But you have to love them as I do!

Well, I must run. I think that we will soon be docking and I have to wash the sunscreen from my glasses and catch a flight out of here.

I love you all, please write me, at Verlene@datalounge and give the all the details of your fabulous life. Remember what Tammy Faye said...nah forget it!

GulliVer Verlene! Now officially living in SIN,