Zooming to Macau November 1, 1997 (and more)

It seems to me,
I've lived my life,
like a candle in the haze!

When you caught up with me last, I was on a Chinese Junk somewhere off the coast of Thailand. I am still on board a boat but I am now "jet-foiling" my way across the bay from Hong Kong to Macau. The wind was a little brisk on deck, so I have come below to write to my dearest friends and let them know about the happenings in the Trailer Park East. I am a little disappointed since I paid the extra money to go "First Class" and my "Complimentary Snack Box" only contains a box of juice and 4 crackers. Alana, we need to show then what a real "Snack Box" looks like!

I am still living in SIN and the treacherous haze is still ruining my weekend plans to strap on the wide brimmed hat and spend the days at the pool, with my best friend, Ms. Margarita. So I have chosen this weekend to zip off to the casinos of the old Portuguese port. It looks lovely from out here! Unless you hear otherwise, I have had a wonderful time!

I'm settling in! I dusted off the gnomes and have strategically placed them outside my little place. The neighbors are not sure what exactly to make of this sudden efflorescence of trailer life amongst their laundry lines, chickens and stray dogs! I am pretty sure that they will think that these are my gods and will soon have incense sticks and food offerings surrounding my little fellows! Sigh!

I will bring a little trailer culture to this place, even if it kills me. I guess that it must be working because they have started with the erection of the gaudiest and tackiest Christmas decorations at my place of abode. I have to get a picture for you. They have turned the entire front of the mall into this faux-ice castle with exquisite mechanical soldiers and...well you have to see it to believe it. I feel like my presence here has something to do with this.

Inside, I have removed several of the plastic flower arrangements and replaced them with quite tasteful silk ones. I have my standards, low as they might be. I still have not tackled the kaleidoscope of color combinations in the bathroom. That will take some time. Did I mention that I live on the top floor of a mall! Hunnies, The Body Shop, Esprit and Bruno Magli (those "killer, ugly ass shoes") are a mere elevator ride away!

As I said, I have been in the air, and all over Asia! I have taken an immense liking to Hong Kong where ancient china and ultra modern western life, crash together in an exciting cacophony. I managed to have dinner with Boris Becker (well, it was a buffet and he sat next to me). What a big boy!

Of course, I have discovered several of the watering holes in that city and I have managed to have a good time! I will not tell a lie, I have been sampling some of the local delights but they leave me, strangely wanting.

Jakarta Indonesia, did proved to be a mixed blessing. I hated the sprawling mess that people insist on calling a city, but I did manage to stumble into shopping heaven. Do not even ask what I managed to pick up in the "basket" section. All I can say is that I was pleasantly surprised when I got home and unwrapped my present! I have done all my Christmas shopping in Jakarta, but I am trying to decide if to give to those who have been naughty or nice?

On the social scene, while all of you were out "Trick AND Treating", I went out and celebrated Deepavali (The Indian Festival of lights). I went down to little India for dinner...had the traditional "Banana Leaf" dinner. No plates, no cutlery...they lay down a huge Banana Leaf and they plop the Indian food on! You then dig in ...but NOT with your left hand..You left hand is used for unspeakable things. I was, of course, in a quandary since I do odious things with both of my hands.

Later we walked the streets and heard this jamming very-traileresque music. A live band playing from Sri Lanka! We HAD to go! We talked our way into this club (not paying the $16) cover and were there for about 2 mins before I noticed that we had the only (real) females with us. It was all boys. The rest of the group freaked! I swirled my cocktail and smiled inwardly, quite enjoying the whole evening. None of us are still sure if this was a "Trailer" bar or a cultural thing. It was a lovely debate in the car on the way home.

So what does a girl do out here to entertain herself? I have invented several games that I can play! I look forward to your visit so that we can play some of these together.

  1. Avoid the Commuter (similar to dodge ball, get to work and try to avoid slamming into the other really crazy commuters) Low score wins. Lowest score to date, 38.
  2. Count the Underwear (I try to guess how many of the neighbor's bra's and panties, Verlene will have move out of her way to get past her front door) Score closest to actual number wins.
  3. Guess the Food. (Eat in strange locations, order off the local menu and try to guess what is contained in the dish/bowl that is placed in front of you.) Extra points for identifying something that you have never before eaten in your life.
  4. Advanced Guess the Food: Same as above but you must order the unknown food and tell the wait staff to "make it spicy". Not for the beginners.
  5. Guessy Delhi Belly: Played in conjunction with "Guess the Food (Both Versions)" you have to guess (without looking) what has caused you the gastric distress.
  6. Beat the Heat. (Make it to work without breaking a sweat) Extra points if you do not take a taxi.
  7. Odd Man Out. (figure out what is wrong with this picture) Identify common oddities in standard places. E.G. Why they server Chilli Sauce, instead of Catsup, at McDonalds or why they ban "Cosmopolitan" but the locals wear the shortest of skirts!
  8. Funny Sign Game. (Find odd and amusing signs that mean something else) The House of Hung, Jewelry store, "Ah Choo" restaurant and the EuroNate Tile company are already taken. 1 point for each amusing sign.

Well, we are starting our entry into the port of Macau. Please know that I love you all and love your letters. I will continue to respond if you write me at Verlene@Datalounge.com

Vibrating Verlene