The Monsoons are coming, and I do not have a mop! November 26, 1997 (and more)

"I had a trailer in Singapore..."

I do so want Meryl Streep to play me when they (whoever "they" are) finally put this on film! Hell, if the Lady Chablis can do it, who the hell am I. While she is vulgar and uncouth, she did graciously announce my absence at the CMF this year (before rushing to the bathroom for a "piss", just lovely!)

Happy Turkey Day, my little gobblers!

I am back in my own little cubbyhole of an abode after a jet set week going from Macau to London and then to Hong Kong. I am certainly "Something Special in the Air" at this point! I seem to be settling into a life of travel and expense reports. I am still blessed to think that I have you all out there rooting for me!

Macau was lovely... a cross between Taipei and Paris. Very European in parts with the old Portuguese colonial look and the wide tree lined cobbled streets. Everything is in Cantonese and Portuguese...quite a mix...I did not know if to samba or karoke. So I did both. Tequila helped. I was a hit!

I toured old catholic ruins and a Buddhist temple that was so serene and beautiful. I spent hours there, meditating and lighting incense for my friends and family and fellow trailer gals. I did see this VISION of beauty in front of me, with tight jeans and sweater coyly slung over his shoulder. Upon further inspection, I saw a glint of gold on that wedding finger. Still hoping that he was a fellow trailer gal, incognito, I continued my quest until I realized that the jeans were Wrangler! CLEALY he was Eurotrash! I spun on my heals and left disappointed to go to a sauna. I had a relaxing whirlpool and an incredible massage where the little girl spent most of her time hanging on to the bars attached to the ceiling and walking on my back! No offers of "Sexy massage"...thank god! Then she did and incredible thing with oils and hot towels...I have not been that relaxed in quite a while! Well, not since I realized that Dan Quayle was not going to run again.

After Macau, the Queen and Queen Mother called me to have tea and scones at Kensington Palace. It was lovely but sad being there without Diana.

I took pictures of the Queen scraping the swan shit off of her sneakers. All so terribly nice! They are renovating the whole of the Kensington palace but not for Camilla! Oh no. How Gauche!

Well Trailer Gals and Guys my melatonin is about to kick in so I thought that I should drop you a line before I fall asleep with the face mask on again. I did have the HORRORS of finding a gray hair today...and NOT on my head...down there...not ALL the way down there...just part of the way...I am devastated! Living behind the mall now means that I have 18 hours of Christmas Carols that are piped into my place every day. Yes "I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me!"

Let me go practice my Ping Pong. I have suddenly taken QUITE a liking to the sport!

Before I go, can someone explain this to me? I would like to know why my "American Breakfast" in any country includes:

Never once, have I seen any of these things on the Denny's buffet, or at The Waffle House.