The Year of the Tiger Approaches. Here, Kitty Kitty! January 16, 1998 (and more)

Happy New Year everyone! May 1998 bless you with all of the spirits that you all deserve, bottled or otherwise. I get to celebrate again here as the Chinese New Year (Tiger this year) is coming in 2 weeks!

J'ai retourne chez moi. I am back in Singapore after my extended Verlapalooza 97 World Tour. It may be a small world, but NOT when you are toting matching luggage! It took me 84 hours to get to the islands and 48 hours to get back. A total of 122 hours! I do not even do things that I like for that length of time. But was it worth it?

Stop 1: London/Brussels/Amsterdam. Thanks to the world's "Favourite" airline, I arrived in Brussels sans curling-iron! After quietly explaining that my medication was stowed in the lost luggage, I managed to get them to expedite the valises to me in Amsterdam. Holland was, well, let's just say that Verl had fun, quite lovely dykes, and at least I was conscious this time, Chipperlean. Hey! I was good. Really good!

Stop 2: NYC, T.J. Actress met me at the airport with a big wet kiss. She is doing well, getting lots of business. Remind me not to introduce her to any more of my friends. Yes, she immediately educated me to the joys of the TV show "South Park". The show is supposed to be a cultish phenomenon in the U.S. now. I positively did not get it! Feces and anal probes are HARDLY the stuff that my mother would think as appropriate humor while sitting around the pool, sipping our rum punches.

In NYC, I did go to a lovely party with those crazy Datalounge gals. That was mucho fun, except everyone refused to talk to me about Trudy. When they did mention her, it was in very restrained tones, much like those members of my extended lunatic family that we care not to claim a connection. I am sure that I was not my usual bubbly self, but I have three words for you: Jetlag, Jetlag, Jetlag!

I would like to thank Alana for accommodating me, and for arranging to stage me in the middle of a shootout (guns et al.) at 5 in the morning. That was a special touch that I will not forget for quite some time. How cliche'.

Stop 3: San Juan, just to lose my luggage again by the twits (with an 'i' not and 'a') who love to fly and apparently it shows. Well, my luggage loves to fly.WITH ME!

Final Stop: Barbados. Luggage arrives with me (after a slight case of histrionics at the check in counter)."No I would like my luggage to come with me to Barbados, and not to turn back to Miami, thanks."

On the island, I had a truly glorious time with Alana Empty. We donned our big wide brimmed hats and perched, like two old crows, on the beach! Oh my, the view, especially with a Samba beat! In addition to the typical day spent with yachts, concords, wild turtles and monkeys we managed to happen onto the most hysterical drag show on the island. Trudes has the pictures, hopefully she will include them in the newsletter. Pookie and new Beau (two very enthusiastic thumbs up!) were also quite nice enough to entertain the old girl with a day of sun and fun! Have not had such a nice piece of chicken in quite a while!

New Years: I raised my glass of Asti Spumante to you all, winked over to Julian Lennon, separated the cat flight that broke out with Anna and Minnie Driver. Thought of you all! Well, for a moment.

Madonna tried to get a table at the restaurant and was denied! Who does she thing that she is, just waltzing up and booking like that? It takes quiet a few connections. Our table was the most fun in the place and let me tell you about the inside scoop that I got about the Ab Fab girls (yes, the real ones) and our new James Bond. Lets just say that he did not always look that good. I am not going to talk out of school but remember, he is Irish: Remember what their teeth are like!

Now, did Mr. Geffen buy Claudette's place or not? Can someone answer that question? And, as for the local devil boy; Hun, time to fix those implants, National Geographic nearly took a shot of you on the beach. And don't you EVER air kiss me again! I'll smack you!

Ms. Dinah Dash thanks ever so much for the organizer! Now I guess I have no excuse. You are too funny, after a pitcher of Margaritas. Cousin V., I needed to see more of you, but you did get your Stoli, so there!

Well, all good things came to an end. I dashed though North Carolina to see everyone! Sister Juci (thanks the pumps were a hit, but the dress is too small!) Rhonda, Debbe, Chipperlean, Sylvia, Consuela and the Good Doctor, The Queen, the gnats, and TJ (Flight Attendant). All thanks to a little soiree held by my bestest buddie and soul train mate, Ms. Leeza.

Amanda your Xmas card won the prize this year! You are a sweetie!

Well, I feel like a new man! And where am I going to get one at this hour?

Yours truly,