Does this Perth go with these thoes? November 4, 1998 (and more)

OK I promised! I promised to write! I am back from Down under. It was quite an adventure, as usual, and I have lots to tell. (Get your Tea and Biscuits.)

In a sudden burst of inspiration (and the need to try and rack up some last minute frequent flyer Points) I booked a last minute flight to Perth on British Airways and (remind me "never again"--- QUANTAS)

It has been a mere 26 years (I know dears, some of you are not that old, well I AM) since my last visit to the country down under and I though that it deserved another shot. I have a gaggle of cousins there and I KNEW that they were going to be excited to see me. (How highly I rate myself!)

So with a carry-on full of Rum and an excited grin I headed "down under" again.

The first thing that one notices about Perth is the sand. My god! No one told me it was in a desert. The second thing that one notices; are the flies. Not a few flies, swarming off of the omnipresent road kill piles of carrion. Oh no, on notices the MILLIONS of flies that seem quite attracted to yours Verly! With arms akimbo I waved and waved and waved these pesky creatures off until I finally gave up and let them settle all over me like small green and black sequins on my velveteen pullover!

The wave (by the way) is called "The Australian Salute" and let me tell you, it is quite confusing when you get down on the beaches and all of these handsome creatures are waving in your direction!

Home Sweet Home My uncles and cousins had rented a couple of lovely trailers at a "camp" on the east coast near someplace call Moore River (I think it meant "More-Flies" River). I dug though my carry-on and opened the rum as I sat there and listened to the aged talk about the old times back on the island.

Old folks are funny when they get to a certain age. Most of the conversations started out with...

"What ever happened to ______?(fill in the blank)" "Oh (s)he is dead", said with the same deadpan manner as one would if you were telling someone what ingredients went into your cake mix.


"What ever happened to ______?(fill in the blank)" "Oh (s)he is dead, and his/her husband died soon after". There is no emotion. Just factual responses.

Stories of having The Queen over to tea at the Belle Plantation seemed so out of place in the (faux-paneled) living room of our little green trailer. That's right The Queen...or just simply "Her Majesty" for those of us who know.

After much thought (and, OK, some rum) I concluded that I live a strange life! I threw on my Sarong and headed down to the Ocean. Beautiful blue waters and white sand were the view from the trailer.

As I made my way down the dunes, I realized that the flies, shark attack signs, and the water that was exactly 2 degrees above freezing, were going to spoil my afternoon plans to cavort with the surfers. It was back to the old folks and the news of the latest political scandals at the Sunrise Retirement Home.

I have enclosed a picture of our trailer. It was fun, and I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Well, that is all I have to say! I am back in Singapore. I spend a lovely Halloween at a swanky new club with lots of lycra-ed Chinese people. No one knew who "Her Majesty" was when I tried name-dropping!

Again...I live an odd life!

Velveteen Verlene!