These are all my calling cards from the very first, oh so many prescriptions ago. Page away and maybe even send me something nostalgic. If your life begins to whirl about you and everything seems to start closing in and babies begin to appear with pigs tails, perhaps you'd better get back to a safe place.

[Go back, I'm getting all teary.]

Loving you in the biggest way!

[Size doesn't matter, dear, but I appreciate your sincerity. Kiss you all over (even the tiny bits) -T]

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See you in limbo,
-Psycho Bitch

I just moved into the old trailer park. I is a fab experience and I'm sure that I shall NEVER be the same for it. Kiss Kiss.

[The neighborhood is just crawling these days... lovely. -T]

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If you need anything, I'm unlisted,
Lady Constance

I just had my social secetary read all the calling cards and I must say that Lady Constance is very pleased with the entire experience.

May I introduce myself? Ofcourse, Dear. Lady Constance Massengill de Coverlet. (She had been spread accross many a bed). A grand lady of great wealth and aspect, she has been married, repeately.

Now she abides in Our Nation's Capital, the Land of Jesse and Newt, and loves all thing animal, veg or mineral.. Kiss Kiss

[Your Ladyship, I had no idea of your pedigree. You must be suffering in their nation's capital (oh how political of me!) I extend my rather damp hand to you in friendship in anticipation of our future correspondence. You can write can't you? Dainty kisses all around. -T]

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If you need anything, I'm unlisted,
Lady Constance

Trudy, Dear,

As the morning sun arose and kissed the blossoms of my porchalocka and as Dora (my vicious hungry pussy) screemed for her breakfast, I though to you. Ah, the dualities of life. I want to wish one and all a tasteful week-end. I plan a royal progression to the fair burg of Winchester, VA, where I shall be in residence with a kind and generous gentleman with a large personality.

Kiss, Kiss

[Madame de Massengill, so pleased am I to hear from you again, especially after the scolding you took in my diary entry, naughty girl. But you alone have proved true. As for your puss-puss, I assume that you snatched her from the jaws of hunger; I prefer dogs myself. Avoid that "ennui" to which I know you are prone while in Virginia. If necessary, call me, I find large personalities terribly amusing -T]

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If you need anything, I'm unlisted,
Lady Constance

i just loved the photos of the NY Pride Celebration!!! Thanks! You GO girl!

[Thanks Toddles, I am. -T]

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I've run off with your lover,
Toddles

That bitch Beulah looks like Minnie Mouse dressed as Sonja Henje (or spelling to that effect). Barbara should get her act together and revive that poor child she left in a box on the street. They could re-enact all the Jane and Sydney scenes from Melrose Place. In the meantime, get some new outfits onto "Barbara's": surely there's a feather boa in the house?

(back from my travels and twice as important)

[Dear Lady CB, returned from afar and easily twice as large. Please put one of your knee-highs where your mouth is. You seem awfully cranky, perhaps you spent a little too much time in Connecticut recently, perhaps one too many Pimm's cups? I'd love to get together with you and go over your ideas but I think I'll be washing my wigs then, you know, the desert air... -T]

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If you need anything, I'm unlisted,
Lady Creme Brulée

I could just die for your trailer, girl. How much ya want for it? Some good for nothing piece of shit burned my beautiful trailer!!! After licking everything in sight, no less. And I thought I was the filthest person alive. Oh well, live and learn.

[Lovely. My dear I simply could not part with my trailer no matter what the price. But, my, what an exciting life you lead and rest assured dear, I am sure you ARE the filthiest person alive. From now on you shall be my Lucky Liz. -T]

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Love your hat, call you Thursday,
Liz Trailer

Have you considered Faux brick underpinning for that 'country' look? You know, one has to out do all the others in the trailer court. I have a new 'Gazing ball' and recycled my old set of snow tires into flower boxes. It's amazing what one can do with the hitch and propane bottles. Everyone sings little songs of joy in the Green Acres Home park:

I'm a trailer park woman, I'm a mobile home princess, I'm the queen of manufactured housing. Ive got a tatoo on my backside, a Harley Davidson in the den, got an open door for the marine corp, I'm lookin fer a few good men Oh that little song makes me want to don a pair of 'Capri' slacks and wedgies and my new tube top and go struttin.

[Iona I'm simply mad about visiting that "country look" but am partial to brushed aluminium "Deco". Capri slacks?! Oh honey, what I wouldn't do for a REAL pair of Capri slacks, you know, the kind Miss Sophia Loren used to wear? -T]

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Pretentiously Mine,
Iona Trailer

Hi, girls. I'm back from the Mts. of Virginia. We had a fab little trip, went to the Double Tollgate Flea Market (got a lovely tee shirt) and then we made a pilgrimage to the last resting place of none other than Patsy Cline (we have a picture of herself and the Patsy Cline Memorial Bell tower.) Well, now that you are pea green with envy, see ya.

Kiss Kiss

PS. The kind and gererous gentelman had a personality larger than even I could imanigine.

[Lady who? Have we met? Oh perhaps you are that low-level royalty -- distant -- relation who simply can't find a large enough personality to fill that void in your life. But honey, you know I love you and Trudy here is just mad with jealousy (never green sweetie, I love you that much) at your travels and abundance of abandon. -T]

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Affectionately yours,
Lady Constance M. de Coverlet

Thank you, thank you, and thank you again for all of the beauty that you have shared with us on this itty-bitty stop on the infobahn. And speaking of beauty, as one as dazzling as yourself always must, what is the secret to your beauty? Is it that Barca-Lounger Exercycle Program? The peanut butter and pickle sandwich diet regime? Or the Mary Faye Cosmetics? Please share the the joy, the love, and the beauty with us all!

[Betty, the secret to my beauty? How kind of you to ask. It's no secret, it's Photoshop, and you can do the most wonderful things with it. Besides, I could be quite angry with you Elizabeth, it's not itty and I'm no biddy. Did you visit anywhere else besides the pics and here? I miss you terribly even having just met you. -T]

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Open up to the power that is God,
Bingo Betty

[Hit Me!]