Episode #3

This time on BARBARA's

"But what about the audition?"

Barbara's eyes flutter and she gasps

"Audition?"

Rob, bending over Barbara

"Barbara, Warren works at The Data Lounge and . . "

"Oh I love The Data Lounge . . ."

"Well, they are looking for a new song stylist and we heard you through our window last night and you were just swell and we think that Warren might be able to get you an audition."

Always finding the good in every situation, Barbara's suddenly takes action and jumps to her feet bristling with vim and vigor.

"I haven't really prepared anything, but I do have a smashing cigarette dress and I probably could do that Cole Porter song that I used to sing to my last lover before she dumped me for someone less rigid in her gender identification and I could get a sitter for . . ."

A small tear.

"Well anyway what time should I be there?"

"Get dressed and hurry over. We'll go now and set everthing up. Good luck"

"Oh thank you, you wonderful boys. If there is anything I could ever do for you fully clothed . . . Just ask! See ya."

Everyone parts. Barbara rushes to her box. Pushing the dead child out of the way, she throws open the wardrobe and pulls out the smashing cigarette dress. A few small sequins dance merrily across the floor. She looks to the corpse . . .

"Oh, little pumpkin toes, even though you're dead, you still bring me such joy"

Barbara doesn't notice, and even if she did she might not believe it, but did the dead body MOVE?! Not possible. Or is it?

Barbara pulls on the harness and corset required to wrangle her ample bosom into the confines of couture and bursts out of the carton. She heads down the street and arrives breathless and glowing at The Data Lounge.

"This isn't happening"

She whispers, a little damp under the arms with excitement. Suddenly she hears a voice . . .

"Break a leg, bitch."

Beulah? But no one is there.

"That's strange"

And she pushes open the door to her future. She steps onstage, head high, bodice fully supported, and out in the dark waits her destiny.

"Okay sweetie, open that trap and blow"

Live TrudyVision camera at The Data Lounge Network Operations Center

What Happens?

• What does she sing?

• Who was that strange voice and why so negative?

• Did Warren ever arrange the audition or is this all some horrible mistake and they think she is Carmelita Pope?

• Tell us again who Beulah is? And for that matter who is Carmelita Pope?

On The Next Episode of BARBARA's

Carmelita Pope, forgotten (guest) starlet, whose agent has had the audacity to suggest that we can't buyout her overtime under the current SAG contract, refused to show up for forced calls and will not be seen in the next episdoe where if she has shown up would have starred as the fading chanteuse recognizing Barbara's talent and saving the audition by repositioning Barbara's necklace which catches on her right breast.