Episode #8

This time on BARBARA's

As dusk descends over the gritty city, preparations for opening night are in full swing at The Data Lounge. Ms. Max is barking out orders left and right while Joan tries to keep all the union techies in their jobs one more night.

Out front the paparazzi have completely taken over the small cobblestone street and the line of limos are backed up all the way to Fifth Avenue. This is turning out to be the place to be.

Meanwhile, backstage, the edges are beginning to fray. The chorus boys are out of control with excitement for their opening and Beulah is out of control with her excitement for the chorus boys and her early California nouveau beaujolais.

"Come here you little rippled sex toy. I've got a couple of things you need to go over..."

The chorus boys run in terror to see the star completely hell bent on ruining their reputation AND the show. Luckily, Barbara is close at hand.

"Boys, boys, she's just nervous, come back we all have to do this together. Now stay here with her while I go check with Joan about the new lighting cues that Beulah ordered for her second number."

Barbara leaves the dressing room with the chorus boys keeping a close watch and a fair distance from Beulah as they try to get her ready for the first number.

As she walks through the theatre/lounge, Barbara trembles with the electricity that fills every nook and cranny of the somewhat shabby nightclub. She loses herself to the moment so soon in the future when she will take her first step out onto the stage (ableit festooned as a hedgehog) and become a professional performer. She shivers.

After dealing with Joan, Barbara notices that the lounge is packed with a loud and boisterous audience. She races back to the dressing room to get ready. She opens the door and has to clutch the frame as she looks inside and sees her dreams turn to nightmares.

There sprawled on the floor are three chorus boys, naked as, well, just naked, and unconscious and sitting on top of them is Beulah, dressed only in her 18-button red kid gloves and pearls. Something must have happened.

"Beulah, what have you done, we go on in just a few minutes. Why are those boys sleeping! And why isn't anybody in costume?"

"Listen sister, while you were out I just put these losers through one last rehearsal, and let me tell you, something, there is no WAY they can keep up with me, bring me some more and another bottle of something white this time, I'm beginning to feel a little light headed ..."

Beulah takes a look around as if she was confused as to her surroundings and simple lays back and begins to snore.

"Beulah, oh no. Beulah, Beulah you have to wake up. Oh why do you drink so. You lose all your good manners and even your accent when you drink. Beulah, wake up! Wake up! We have to open tonight!"

"Barbara, do you need help?"

"Joan! Thank goodness, my lady in shining armor and not a moment to waste. Beulah seems to have exhausted herself, the chorus and a few bottles of beaujolais nouveau, domestic, and I'm afraid that I can't rouse her."

"What the hell is going on here."

Ms. Max arrives in a stunning Armani pinstripe suit. After all, she owns The Data Lounge.

"What an effing mess. And with chorus boys, I thought that classy act was just an act."

"Ms. Max, I'm sure we can wake her. Just maybe some hot coffee and a shower."

"Barbara, no disrespect honey, but there ain't enough hot coffee in all the Starbucks on the Upper West Side to roust that hooch-hound. We got to act fast."

"Shall I make an annoucement, maybe offer a round of free drinks?"

"Joanie, baby, you wanna break me? Get a grip, we still got a show, well at least half a show. Now Barbara, I still got me a contract and if you still want to walk, well I think that you are just going to have to try on your boozer of a sister's costumes and get your fanny ready. On the duet numbers where you and that drunk were together, I'll take your part. Oh, and get those three muscle boys that are always hanging around to fill in as chorus. You know, I think one of them works here ...."

The women scatter as they throw themselves into their respective tasks to bring what was a disaster a few minutes ago, into a show.

The curtain goes up about a half an hour late, but the audience is ready. Barbara takes her first step out onto the stage and suddenly her whole life falls into place. She now knows that her very essence of being exists under the glare of the fresnels and the hum of the dimmer racks.

The audience is transfixed throught the whole hour long show. This is what a nightclub is meant to be. A new "in" spot is born, but how to keep it fresh and yet uncrowded?

As the finale starts, Rob, Warren and David are resplendent in their revealing shimmery costumes. They almost missed their cue with last minute adjustments and what-nots behind the closed door of their dressing room, but it all comes together as Barbara makes her entrance and steals the show.

Live TrudyVision camera at The Data Lounge Network Operations Center

After their bows, the boys race off to remove their clothing and Barbara gasps at the after-applause excitement. Joan stands beaming from the wings as she has been watching Barbara's triumph all night long.

"Barbara, you were ... well, more than good, you were a happening."

"Joan, was I really? I felt it, but I just wasn't sure anyone else did."

"Are you kidding? The audience practically ripped the place apart the minute you opened your mouth, and you even made Ms. Max look good. You are there girl and you're still going places and I've got a few places I need to take you."

As if on cue, although late, like an unchecked hairball, a raspy unsteady voice issues forth from the forgotten dressing room...

"Hey you, yeah you, are you still breathing? We got time before this piece opens?"

Beulah awakens. Joan and Barbara exchange a concerned look.

"Oh Joan, what about Beulah, she'll be crushed about missing her opening."

"Barbara how can you worry about her now. She should have thought about that before the first bottle and the first chorus boy."

Ms. Max comes storming across the stage half undressed half in costume.

"Where is that little hip flask! I'll teach her about drinking her way out of a contract!"

Ms. Max barrels by Joan and Barbara not even seeing them and bursts into Beulah's dressing room and slams the door. As the squeals and wails commence, Joan leans over to Barbara and whispers:

"Ms. Max doesn't go for booze and pills."

What Happens?

• Will the show ever close?

• Can the chorus boys ever explain their behavior?

• Why is Ms. Max such a straight arrow?

On The Next Episode of BARBARA's

Princess Vermillion rushes off at the last minute to Abu-Dhabi at the invitation of somebody more important than the casting director and completely misses all rehearsals and consequently the filming of the next episode where if she had stayed she would have replaced A. Seraglio as the fading chanteuse sitting unnoticed in the corner who would have a profound impact on Barbara's career in later episodes and with a 7/13 guarantee..